You. Yes, You. You're My Beanie Babies.
No, no. I'm not talking about the little stuffed bear things that your mom has stashed away in your basement because "ThEy ArE vAuLaBlE". No I'm talking about these bad Larrys:
These puppies are our 2019 beanies. Did you blink? Can you not tell how many there are or which is your favorite color? That's how a GIF works, you dummy.
Listen, it's spooky szn. Literally it's Halloween today. I care so much about your head's well-being that I am writing this blog instead of trick or treating.
GET BACK ON TRACK BEN. OK, you know what comes after spooky szn, cuffing szn ;) Picture this: You and your winter bae are walking around feeling all cute and shit (stop rubbing it in) but do you feel that? Your ears are cold. Guess What? Their ears are cold too. Do yourselves a favor and grab one or 60 of these dome socks (read: beanie) and you and your 60 baes can be warm forever. And when you get one, you too can become a beanie baby.
Knock on wood if you're with me,